When a practiced pianist places their fingers on the keyboard with the intention to express/create/compose, they are aware that any note, even the very first note, will be music. It’s not blind confidence. It’s their experience. When and as they step into the stream of their own self-expression, thinking itself becomes secondary . . . ancillary . . . supplemental and not primary. It’s a ‘zone’ we can access.
When the beginner places their fingers on the exact same keyboard, they fear, they secretly believe, before even trying pressing the first key, that they’ll just be making noise . . .
Tough place to start.
And then, get this,
. . . oftentimes, when the novice does find the courage or is sufficiently goaded into moving some fingers (and not simply sit there thinking about it) and, the results aren’t the best beginning to the best music ever, their confirmation bias is confirmed and they tell themselves they suck. They may not stop taking lessons at that point . . . but the joy has left the building for them.
This all takes place internally and in a blink. When precisely that ‘blink’ happens, is dependent on too many factors to predict.
But the elements of what goes into that moment, well, we share a lot of them in common.
As does how we talk to ourselves . . .
And feel about ourselves . . .
And we have no one we trust or feel safe with to explore these experiences and feelings with. So . . . we bottle them all up in a place deep within . . .