Whether you’ve had some remodeling work done in your own home or have watched one of the many home remodeling shows on the television, it’s likely you’ve had the opportunity to witness an architect or an interior designer walk into a home and “see” how the walls could be moved and the space rearranged.
The first few times I saw someone doing this, I found it fascinating. I had always looked at walls as walls…as simply something to deal with, as something permanent and just the way the house was built. I understand now that the space is permanent and the walls are all moveable, even weight bearing walls.
In a world that encourages us to compartmentalize the various aspects and functions of ourselves, we all put up a lot of walls as we were first building our understandings of ourselves. The placement of these walls were either taken from someone else’s blueprints (plans) or represented our beginner’s ideas of how we thought things should look.
Here are some examples of the usual places we put up dividing walls: between thoughts and feelings; between wants and needs; between spirituality and rationality; between the abstract and the concrete; between the possible and the impossible; between pain and pleasure; between good and bad and, of course, between right and wrong. There are plenty of other partitions or dividers we constructed along our way, but I only wanted to give you the idea of what I’m referring to.
We believe that these walls are necessary and permanent. We believe that we have put them up exactly where they belong. This may have been true at the time we put them up. They may have served a good purpose during our development…when we were younger and less experienced with ourselves. Yet, for many of us, these walls have now boxed us in, blocked our vision and restricted our maturation.
These walls are arbitrary. These walls are moveable. These walls are removable.
Sure, we’ll need a bit of help. We’ll need ideas and suggestions from those who have some experience. That’s no different than when we’re dealing with physical walls. We get help. We follow some suggestions.
In the general awareness arena, the ideas of connection and flow have been rediscovered.
There is a blossoming realization that all growth involves change and that change isn’t a rejection of the past but an expansion upon what has come before with fuller perspectives, fresh lines of sight and an openness that is both natural and healthy.
Yet, some will consider change and growth as somehow being disloyal to what they had been handed down or taking the risk that the whole house might come crashing down.
If all you’re working with is your own ideas and a sledge hammer, that might be possible.
But when you’re open to asking for and using the help that’s available, moving or removing those interior walls that interfere and block ourselves from connecting with ourselves (and others) is neither dangerous nor daunting.
It’s actually freeing and fun.
So…”all growth involves change and that change isn’t a rejection of the past but an expansion upon what has come before with fuller perspectives”. That’s sounds wonderful – such a positive perspective!
Sadly I think I am one of those people who thinks that change and growth are scary and that I indeed risk collapsing the whole house …But I don’t even like the house! How do I change my perspective from Fear to Fun?
Hello ang6932. Thanks for all of your support and your good question. The transition from a perspective of fear to fun is not a 180 degree about face. I suggest you might want to try changing one small thing a day for the next week or so in your daily routine simply to notice your reaction or resistance to change itself. Keep the type of changes minor…but be mindful when you’re doing them so that you can be aware that even small changes can feel refreshing. A new way to drive to work, or taking a 10 minute breather outside the office or calling a different friend every day to chat with…any and all of these will begin to allow you to feel comfortable enough with change to attempt more significant ones.
Hope this was specific enough to be helpful. Feel free to reach out anytime. Thanks