As is frequently the case, I’ve been misinterpreting or misunderstanding a popular American saying, widely believed to be historically borne out, which is:

         “To the victor belong the spoils…”

(The remark is attributed currently to a William L. Marcy of early to mid-1800s Massachusetts fame…and the full remark includes these three seldom included words “…of the enemy.” Ouch, right?)

Anyway, from his remark, my takeaway, my understanding for a long time was that:  “If you win, you get the goodies.”

How American is that? Uber, right?

Turns out, I had the meaning sort of backward. This is how I now recognize its truth:

     “That if I am competing and still experiencing life in the terms of winning and losing, well, that approach simply spoils much of the goodness in our moments…” 

“…and especially, if I’m treating others like the enemy.”

There is another use of the word we could try…we could try simply spoiling someone…just for a minute today…with our kindness…

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