It may seem to you, dear reader, that as we connect with this spooky action at a distance called reading, that you are joining into something, at the first lines of any particular posting, as if we’re (you and me) are engaged in an on-going chit chat of sorts—like two old friends who like each other and feel safe about opening up—only…since I hope to show you that it’s healthy and interesting and fun to open up by example and not simply pointing you to do it…I’m sorta pouring out here…leaky and messy…but still willing to try to invite us into some open-ended conversation on a wide range of subjects or feelings or life experiences… (all three of these…and more actually…)
weaving into words the streams of our personally experienced, and subsequently noticed, interactions…the streams of consciousness that run within us…that include the multiple facets of any connections that ‘pop’ up…(emerge)…during the unrehearsed, spontaneous free-flow between and amongst friends…
…while in the flow of a healthy conversation, we say and feel things that are almost as new to us, as the speaker, as they are to our listening friend. As we attempt to share openly and honestly, we honestly open up more…sometimes we can feel that we’ve shared too much (that’s fear trying to get us to hold ourselves back…like our friend is suddenly going to turn on us…and that’s a trust issue…)
And we’ll fall silent unexpectedly at that moment…and with our friends, that’s more than OK, it’s understood to be an aspect of the dialogue processes…the silence is allowed and respected amongst friends. It’s not awkward…or, if it turns awkward for one, the other friend will ‘know’ just what to say to invite the awkwardness to leave.
…all of this invisible and unmeasurable energy(s) exchanging underneath the surface meanings of the words being used…and still, we recognize the importance and the role of love…which allows for the spaces, that give us the room to breathe, to spiritually catch our breath, to relax and lean further into the moment with one another…
for the blendings and explorings of the webs of connections…(which we have summed up traditionally and linguistically under the general heading/word– “friendship”).
Now, we all do long for meaningful connections…(and that’s a whole additional set of challenges if you are telling yourself something other…I’d like to chat more about that with you…if you care to)
…and that’s not to say that there’s anything missing or lacking necessarily (such as joy, goodness and genuine love) in our social interactions. It’s different with a friend…with a friend, we can slide and glide like Fred (Astaire)and Ginger (Rogers) in an improvisational flow across the dance floors of our wholeselves.
Let’s admit it. Most of us prefer to approach friendship as choreographed routine. We tell ourselves our friendship will be stronger if you just let me decide ahead of time (or even as we’re talking) that I know best where, how, when those connections are to be made and what they must look like. We can try to construct a friendship like that. It can look good on the appearances. It feels stale and unsatisfying. That’s your clue.
Love is a force that doesn’t force you to do anything. Love is only asking for love…
our love for one another…urges us to open up…to not lie…to be honest and kind
Love can guide us towards the truth in any moment
and not divide us with the doubts of all we cannot prove and our insistence of being right in everyone else’s eyes rather than trying to be true to ourselves in our own mind’s eye.
I’m sighing along with the rest of us.
And rolling up my sleeves with a shit-eating grin.