I have a well thought out plan tucked neatly under my virtual arm. 

Then, I walk through whatever door is in front of me and my plan meets the reality of the new day. This now moment. And the day, in a moment, can take my plan and shred it into confetti and toss it into the wind. The day is offering me a ticker tape parade celebration and all I see is wasted efforts and chaos.

It sometimes happens, like I suggested, all at once…like with a phone call…from outside the outline of the picture I had drawn…outside the parameters of the map I had made, the course I had charted through, my foreseen pathway and sequences through my ‘should’ to do(s)…my ‘must’ do(s)…my ‘want’ to do(s)…all these levels of endless lists to juggle…

…of how I plan to get things done…from this moment to this night…I lean in with all of my might…every day…trying so very hard to move everything and everyone in the direction of my plan for today…my perfectly reasonable, well devised plan, which I thought for sure, since I’d prayed on the toilet for your help with it (no disrespect intended), and that you were all going to help me with…if you cared at all…(dramatic pause)…followed by Silence.

“What?”, I’ll demand after only another instant. I’ll then throw down the gauntlet, “That doesn’t work for you?”  

more silence

then this…

we can make anything work eventually, so relax. This is simply being honest. We’re in a partnership. A relationship. No one has a controlling interest. 

Not me.    And not you.  You haven’t wanted to accept that. I have and do. Take your time. I’m not the one making you miserable though.

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