when my not knowing is complete . . . and ongoing still . . .
. . . when I can be at peace without understanding . . .
. . . without demanding to understand before I allow peace . . .
. . . I’ve noticed my thinking/feeling humanity . . . offers up two regularly appearing and first to be presented into consciousness possibilities. Two questions from my spirit to my spirit:
- What if you’re not understanding because you’re too stupid? and
- What if the peace without understanding is simply the bliss of ignorance?
Good questions—fair questions—honest questions.
They originate mostly from the realm of thinking and are laden with the feelings of separation.
Within my awareness, there are fields of energy other than thinking. They are equally valuable to my wholeness and wellness. We all have them, these other levels of interactions (read: experiences) that are outside of our field of thinking.
We sense them.
These energies move us as they swirl with us in ways we don’t understand and can’t explain. We know that they’re the real real and we cannot explain it . . . so we shy away from talking about it. We know there are no adequate words for the real real. It’s an experience. What we do instead is express our connection to the real real in and through dance, in and through gardening, in and through playing with our children in and at their level, in and through caring for a wounded animal, a sick friend, a lost child. The real real is experiential.
So, let’s get back to those good questions, shall we?
A good question asked from one level of awareness can appear to be a stumper when the answer is attempted from only that level of awareness. The good news is that we have other levels and energies that easily reveal a flow-through (around, if that’s easier to visualize) the stumpers.
A very brief example: recall to yourself the many different ways and on the many different levels we can respond to the same question of:
“How are you?”
If we pair our level of responding accurately enough to the level of the asking, we may form some level of connection and understanding. We all have experienced, however, the confusion and hurt experienced by both parties when the levels of asking and the levels of responding are too different. The response given may not match the question . . . even though the words used were exactly the same . . . it’s not difficult to clear the confusion. It does take a moment to recalibrate and get on the same wavelength. That’s another choice moment. We can recalibrate or not, clarify or not, feel connected or not . . . a cascade of choices . . . all emerging from a single good, honest question.
Back again to those stumpers . . . they are not bad questions. They simply cannot have an answer on or at the level of their asking—our thinking level. We have tried billions of ways over thousands of years to think our way into the realm of the spirit.
It’s the wrong tool, it’s the wrong key—that’s why it won’t turn and unlock the answers. (spoiler alert: the door’s not locked) And still we stand there, perplexed and insisting in our belief that if the key won’t turn, we’re not supposed to go in.
Where is that writ?