Our personal history with change began with our physical development. We grew from birth. Our bodies changed rapidly and continually. As newcomers to the planet, we had no clue as to what was going on or how we would turn out. We experienced various physical discomforts to differing degrees along the way. They were called ‘growing pains’. Not all of the changes we went through met with our approval and none required our consent. Change simply happened.
Concurrent with the physical changes were the associated emotional and mental developments. We became mobile and communicative. For those who were responsible for our care, we were a lot to deal with. For ourselves, we were pushing the envelope of our abilities ever outward. Fearlessly in most cases. Change wasn’t a challenge. It was an X game . Everything was an extreme sport to us…running, climbing, exploring…boundless energy was combined with endless curiosity. Life was pushing to the next change.
Most of us were quite close to having a handle on all of this when, for us, the most unexpected thing of all happened: puberty. Our emotions, our thoughts and our bodily energies were tossed up into the air like they were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle whose picture lid we’d suddenly lost. The introduction of our sexual elements changed everything. Puberty was a turbulent and traumatic phase and the ways in which some of us pieced our pictures back together…well…let’s only say that at times we forced pieces together that didn’t really fit and we left others out completely because we had no idea of where they might belong. Pieces of us. Pieces of our humanity.
This is not an indictment. This is a description.
Our developmental experience with change as children and teenagers underlies our reluctance as adults to embrace it. Beneath our surface words to the contrary, change scares the dickens out of us. Change is perceived as a threat, first and foremost. We haven’t come to terms with its healthy necessity. We haven’t made friends with it. We haven’t accepted the reality of our human condition, namely, that from cradle to grave, we have always been changing. When we attempt to deny or to resist this truth, we suffer.
In some of my upcoming blogs, I’ll be looking at the subject of change.
I thought I would give you a heads up.